Remember when you were first trying to get pregnant and started buying or were gifted a ton of parenting books? Remember the “What to expect” books? I read a few books as a new pregnant woman who had no support or a mom (She passed away December 1st, 1999 and I had baby #1 on August 2nd, 2000). I read What to Expect and the Girlfriend’s Guide to motherhood. I will not lie, they helped in a lot of ways. They partially prepared me for what craziness I was about to endure but boy they didn’t prepare me for the emotional roller coaster happens to a woman when hormones and life changes sincerely change your entire world.
As a woman, we multitask, work our butts off and truly do more than we can ever put in a resume or on a list of attributes. We nurture and love and protect. We care for, organize, and are the ones who hold it all together. As a mom, it becomes so much more. We all know that the job of being a mom is the HARDEST one on earth. First, your body creates LIFE. Then you are responsible for keeping that life alive. Then, making sure they are productive members of society and good people. No pressure…right?
Let’s put that all aside for a minute and talk about how parenting books are just not cutting it. Is there a REAL parenting book out there that tells you LIKE IT IS? Do any of these books tell you that you are going to change FOREVER as soon as you have that baby? That you will NEVER stop worrying about them, no matter how old they are? That your purpose in life will change and you will now not EVER be just yourself. You will FOREVER be someone’s mom? Is there a parenting book that tells you about the heartache when they leave your home and when you lay in bed on that first night, you realize that for the first time in 17 years you do not know the address of your child? Do they tell you that you will always worry when your kiddo goes to their room and closes the door that they are harming themselves or that they have thoughts that are against everything you ever taught them? Do they books tell you that when you are a parent of teenagers, you would do anything to go back to worrying about sippy cups and playdates? NO. The books don’t tell you this. They don’t tell you the REAL story of being a mom. They don’t make you stop and go HMMMM. Maybe if they did, more women would choose to NOT be a mom.
BUT…and this is a BIG BUT…would you have changed your decision if you knew then what you know now? Would you have chosen not to have kids? Probably not. I know I wouldn’t have changed my path. I would still have my three kiddos and I would continue on the path of being their mom but I might have been better prepared for the worry, the stress and the heartache that comes with it. Maybe not…but at least it would have been somewhere in my subconscious. Let’s be real people. Let’s share the REAL stuff! (and yes, I am on the path to writing a REAL parenting book…)